Journey Into The Past
Demented Student Productions


Welcome traveler, onto our journey into the past. Read the remarkable revelations as we, the demented students, discover the key to time travel and voyage back into Earth's past.

Read on, and discover our exploits in times gone by. Marvel at our genius, and most of all, worship us for we are truly quite good.







Hello there, I'm Pete Cartwright. Yes, I'm new to this Demented Student bunch but I fit in well for reasons sure to become clear later. I'm here to tell you all about how we began to travel in time. It all started out innocently enough one morning when Jake awoke and told us all of his fantastical dream - he had seen in his sleep a vision of some kind of time machine.

We didn't think much of it at the time. Partly because Jake's a mechanical engineering student with no idea how to build a time machine, and also because it sounds just like the plot from Explorers. But, much to our surprise, only half an hour later Jake returned with something he called a "Time Helmet" and asked if he could borrow our microwave to build his laser crystal matrix, or some such nonsense. We humoured him, but as time passed it soon became clear that somehow he had actually done it, and before long we had a fully functioning time machine.

Perhaps we should let Dr Von Roberts himself explain exactly how he did it. Jake. . .

Thanks Pete. Yes, I am Jake Roberts, inventor of time travel. It came to me one night in a dream - I was flying through some kind of computer generated nightmare landscape when my eye was caught by a beautiful mixture of spinning laser death and pretty colours.

When I awoke, I could recall my dream in complete detail. The arrangement of lasers, the spinning vortex I assumed could only have been a black hole. I pondered for a few moments as the entire theory of time travel began to coalesce. Allow me to explain fully.

A Black Hole
(Not Actual Size)

The principle of Time Travel is quite simple and is roughly based upon Einstein's relativistic equations. Time travel is also roughly based on pulp sci-fi tv programmes that clearly demonstrate that it is possible. At the event horizon of a black hole, time stands still, so by crossing the event horizon, we are able to travel back in time. Simple eh? However creating a stable, no deadly black hole is more complicated than one would think, and even if a stable black hole could be created, what of the powerful gravitational pull that would rip a human being apart?

So essentially there are two problems with time travel. Making a "safe" black hole and surviving passing through it. It was in my dream that I saw the answer to both problems.


The Dynamic Laser Crystal Matrix

This device conjured by Jake's mind consists of an array of lasers pointing inwards which spins quickly. Using hidriegger's theory that by compression photons it a small spaces creates a black hole, by using a focus material, i.e. a crystal, in the centre of the matrix a black hole of varying power can be created, depending on the complexity of the crystal used. Ideally a diamond with 500 facets would create a black hole with the ability to send us back to any moment from the beginning of time. Due to the black hole inside this device is impossible to photograph.

The Time Helmet

The time helmet is quite simple, and by utilising various bits and bobs Duncan was able to follow Jakes incomplete diagrams to construct an inertial damping helmet, which whilst worn would allow a human being of average (or above in Jake's case) size to pass through the event horizon without damage. Simple eh?

The helmet utilises various components including a Z180 microprocessor and a flashing light bulb. This is not to mention the most important piece of equipment, the helmet itself, constructed from neutronium alloy allowing it to withstand the forces of the blackhole. It is important for those people wishing to recreate our experiment to note that the helmet is coated in neutronium, since using other materials could be hazardous. ( According to our resident nitpicker, Pete, the helmet is NOT covered in real neutronium, but something myself and Duncan call neutronium, and he calls "plastic". )

So after completing the relativistic equations we were able to predict (depending on crystal complexity) how far in time we could travel. Various ideas on what period in history to visit were tossed about the living room. Pete wanted to visit the Marquis de Sadé and see if the guy was really as pleasant as it is said, Dunc wanted to visit the race of lizardmen who created us and point out the obvious flaws in humanity. Jake wished to visit the age of free love and happiness, yes the industrial revolution where with his meager knowledge of mechanics he could make himself a GOD. But in the end we agreed that we could only actually travel in time, and not space (Upgrading to a Tardis model would be our next step if successful). So we had to visit Beeston of the PAST. (For those of you not familiar with Beeston, it is a small market town in the vicinity of Nottingham, England. It is also chock-a-block full of old people.

Artist's Impression Of How Egyptian Beeston May Have Looked

Beeston of the past would be a strange place, what would Beeston look like in Egyptian times, Roman times, or even the scarcely believed Uthurian Beeston. If we were going to travel back in time to a, perhaps, dangerous past we should research Beeston of the past. However being too lazy to research we decided that with our own vast knowledge of dangerous experiences we would be able to cope with anything. (Dunc insisted that if we encounter the "fathers" of humanity we would have to learn an intricate dance they used to communicate, Pete and Jake were secptical.)

As it turned out however, with the crystal at our disposal for the dynamic laser crystal matrix (were you paying attention earler?), Egyptian Beeston was beyond the range of our time traveling ability. In fact, with the crudely fashion glass rock we could afford, our time travel ability was somewhat limited. However, we were not too disappointed. We decided that we should travel back in time to the furthest of our abilities, to see how people lived, worked, and played in the past. We would dispell the myths and find out just what it was like to live one week ago.


Journey Into The Past